Rants and Responses

I read a few articles and blog posts over the past few days that made me want to share some more of my own experiences with disability, particularly invisible disability.

The first, found here, actually prompted me to email the author. I was so grateful to read something in defense of people like me and I wanted the author to know that she'd made a big difference in my day, because it's exhausting dealing with the constant rhetoric about faking and it's doubly exhausting because it comes from all sides. The point here is, most of the time, you have no idea if someone is faking or not.  Disability doesn't discriminate, people of all ages, sexes, genders, classes, etc. become disabled. Their age/class/sex/gender/etc can impact their ability to deal with the disability, certainly, but the fact remains that all kinds of folk can have disabilities. When you assume that someone who is young is faking, you make their struggle so much harder. So stop glaring at people for asking for a seat, stop glaring at young people/people without wheelchairs with disabled parking permits and stop leaving pissy notes for them. Sure, there are fakers out there, but when you take it upon yourself to police these things, you are making life so much more difficult for people who just want to have enough spoons left to make dinner at night (which I didn't yesterday, by the way, for reasons to be explained later in this post). If you're unfamiliar with spoon theory, check it out here.

The second, found here, prompted a rant about strollers on public transit, particularly empty strollers. If there is someone sitting in the priority seating that needs it, fold up your damned empty stroller! Don't glare at me when I explain that I need the seat. The seats are there for people with disabilities first, and then strollers. I will gladly move, if there's another seat available, but if there isn't, tough luck for you. I need that seat because standing on the bus is so painful I want to cry and because standing on the bus sometimes makes my kneecaps slip, an intensely unpleasant and painful sensation.
In other bus and stroller related news: yesterday, after paying $52 for physiotherapy and acupuncture (the only thing that helps with the pain, and yes, I'm aware of how lucky I am to have insurance that covers it), I was sitting on the bus, minding my own business, and a woman with an empty stroller comes charging onto the bus and rams my injured knee with the stroller in her attempt to maneuver it into the completely empty space across the aisle. There was no reason for her to run into me, there was plenty of space. It was an accident, and I didn't say anything other than "ow," but her "oh, did I run into you?" reaction made me even more angry. I've pushed strollers, with babies, without babies, you can tell when you run into things, especially as hard as she hit me. I might give you some leeway if you're a new parent trying to figure things out, but the kid looked about 3. An apology would have made a huge difference, but there was no apology forthcoming. The worst part was that my pain free day, for which I paid $52, turned into a pain free hour. I wish I'd told her that.

This one is the last response, to this blog post here. I know it's an old one, but it reminded me of an experience that I wished I'd handled differently. When I first injured my leg last January, it was the day before winter semester classes started. I was still trying to figure out using crutches and in more pain than I could cope with, the doctor having not yet prescribed me any painkillers and advil not really helping. I found out that one of my classes was on the third floor of a building with no elevator. I was ready to just climb the damned stairs, but my girlfriend (at the time, now fiancee) talked me out of it. Several calls to the accessibility office, or whatever it was called, later, my class was moved to an accessible building. Great, I could go to class, all was well. I crutched up to the front of the class to get a syllabus from the prof and sat back down. The prof started class by saying that he was glad to see that everyone had figured out the room change, and let the class know that the room had been changed for "some person in a wheelchair who didn't bother to show up today." I should have said something, but I was too humiliated. I should have stood up (figuratively) and reminded him that not everyone who can't do stairs is in a wheelchair, but I didn't. I was too ashamed of myself for not climbing the three flights of stairs and for inconveniencing everyone when I wasn't even in a wheelchair. I've learned a lot in the year and a half since then. Now, I would have said something, and I really wish I had then. People in wheelchairs aren't the only people with disabilities, people with visible disabilities aren't the only people with disabilities. Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it isn't there. Besides, the prof was completely out of line for making the comment in the first place.

Rant over.